come on, let's meow.

2011-03-02T20:30:00.005+08:00

Thinking of it all, it makes me feel very worthless. Missing Dian yet I still refuse to even try going back to her. It's been close to 2 fucking years goddammit! Get it over fucking with lah. Somehow though, the memories keep coming back. What we used to do together, the things we talked about, how blissful I felt whenever she's around. Be it physically or through the phone. I have to be frank here, I seriously miss her. Been thinking much lately on the possibilities if I did not cheat on her back then. We MIGHT still be together. I am not sure whether I seriously would like that to ever happen. Undeniably, she was a great girlfriend. She would have been the perfect person I would want to spend my whole life with. A moment of doubt led to a lifetime of regret. What I hated about her back then was that, she was inexperienced as a girlfriend. Oh come on, she never had one. I was her first, I should have seriously given it a break and let her pick things up along the way rather than resorting to an irreversible solution. I miss her. I miss laughing with her, kissing her, smelling her face and telling her what she smells like, I miss our cute arguments that would end up with me outsmarting her, I miss her lame daily stories. Why the fuck Hilmi did you leave a girl who has fulfilled everything that you have always wanted? She may have her imperfections, oh come on, everyone does. All of that for a motherfucking chinese girl named Anthea. Why did you even come into my life Anthea? You destroyed what could have been a married couple.

I am not sure after all this, if me and Dian would ever get together back again at all. Do I want that to happen? I don't know. I would like to try someone new, but then I want her back. Kinda ironic isn't it? Tell me abt it.

2010-06-19T19:38:00.001+08:00

Then you must be the sweet medic. I fight for your well-being while you tend to my lonely and gloomy heart.

2010-06-19T19:13:00.002+08:00

"i dont get why we are not as close as we used to be. i keep missing you a lot. it's like something out of my life disappeared. what did happen actually? im not sure who to ask, really. often, i wish that things are like what they used to be between us"

" do you think it's possible for us to be as close as we used to? more than anything, i would really like that to happen."

- 14 April 2009 (4:25am)

2010-05-06T00:59:00.002+08:00

"Its going to be hard for me. I got to remember all the scene and scripts for my malay lit, darn it. It will take like forever but the test is next week. Okayy, study time. Ahah. To my beloved friends, Nazzy, Eya, Zaffy, Nad & Didiatul thanks for the advice and for being there when i was down. Yes its true, friendship is far more precious than relationship. I have to be strong for my own good. Well to my dearest readers, this may be my last post. I'll be gone for good. Have fun with your life people, do whatever you think that's the best for you. Alright, im out.

PS: I still got a lot of problem unsolved and this really make me confuse. I'll be an optimist not a pessimist.

I tried to close my eyes last night, but i couldnt. Been thinking of what just happened. Its hard for me to accept this, but maybe its for your own good. I shouldnt cry, cause Im sicked off crying. Take care , love.

I'll surrender to god. I swear, i love you, no matter what."

- MONDAY, JULY 14, 2008 ,6:43 PM

2010-05-06T00:55:00.002+08:00

"Patience, melancholy, hurt, anger and whatsoever i'd been through, its over.

1st April, you might say its 'april fool' day today, to fool people around.

Well, i would say im happy today after the answer that you gave that night.
After more than a months, lost it and get it back. But yeah eventhough,
ups and down i have to go through patiently. Is just that im holding my promise.
For sure, you girls will always right by my side no matter what alrights.
So yeah, ive cheered up.Anyways,what happened today at school was so annoying.
Sir Yaacob kept fooling the students with the 'april fool'.God, what a teacher.
Haha. Seemed that my schoolmates had fun their day, with april fooling each other.
And what a students. Besides, Marfua seemed so happy after settling up her prob ey.
Yes we had the same connection and situation, felt sad together and happy together.
Girl, i'll remember the day we sobbbed together-gether. Ahha. Well, happy new month."

- TUESDAY, APRIL 1, 2008 ,7:30 PM

farewell sweetheart.

2010-05-06T00:53:00.003+08:00

"Haha, im sick, having fever etc. Im gonna miss him.

Yeah, will be back on sunday, but still! Darn it. ^^

Im not going for the camp thing tomorrow, due to my fever.

Sorry girls, enjoy yeah. But hey, i want to go out tomorrow.

Anybody ? -_- till here! missing him."

-THURSDAY, JUNE 12, 2008 ,12:38 PM

2010-05-06T00:46:00.002+08:00

"Heart hurt and wonderment and confusion filled my head. I wanted to take my tears and bottle them up,I wanted to make everything all better as we used to be.

I didn't even know why the tears where flowing I knew that you were hurting.

For what you went through last time, i would not say those was past,yes,the reason was because you could not accept what i'd done to you. I admitted i was the one who made a stupid mistakes. Seemed you could not understand, there was nothing I could do.

Perhaps everything happened for a reason.
It just happened to me. And i did not even think of trying to put all these things up.
I could not stop saying that it happened for a reason,
i dont have any prove to make you believe me.
I wish i could rewind and replay the past.
It just now its hard, i wanted to heal your broken heart.
Seemed you could not accept the reasons i told.
Telling me someonelse in your head. I treated like a shit.
Youve passed, of hurting me. Just that i didnt meant all these things could be happened.
You were hurt because of my mistook id done and my sudden dissappearanced.
I was hurt for keeping this emotion after more than a month.
Is just that im girl, afraid and just let all the pain remained inside.
How should i heal mine? Tears. So you, im just wishing for this.
Dont force yourself just because you feel sympathy for me.
I do not mean to point or what, im just telling. But as if you read this.
And yeah, yesterday was the day my heart has been healed. Spending my time with you?
Was the sweet moment. Thank you. But when it came the night, confusion started to fill my head,again and again been pushed so hard. Am i like inconsolable?
Sort of lahh. Ahha. Well, these thingsreally bothering me, especially when im schooling.
Haha, as you can read, previous post by Nazzy & Eya. Darlings,
thanks for everything, and you girls made me laugh like hell today! Felt so good actually.
Sobbing, laughing then i felt sleepy. Gahh! Hows that? You know how does it feels.
So yeah, this is my life for now. Anyhoos, im not going to post my song anymore.
Its just that i dont want too. Wish to hear ask me la ehh. Haha, bye."

-MONDAY, MARCH 31, 2008 ,7:40 PM

for ever

2009-04-14T19:11:00.003+08:00

First day of school was fine. Made a bunch of friends, had to lah as I'll be spending the next two years with them. My class advisor likes me and actually knows my name cos i've been answering all his questions and laughing to his jokes, "angkat buah". And I realised that I am the most recognised kid in class. Cos I've got the longest hair, amongst the guys, that is.

This chinese dude which happens to be a classmate of mine came up to me and weirdly said, "When I came in class, I sat down. I saw your hair. I like, fuck, nice sia this guy's hair."

Thanks for the compliment, whatever your name was. I felt awkward after receiving such comment from a guy I just started talking to.

As always, you never fail to put a smile on my face. I've been longing for your company.

jalan² cari mateps

2009-04-10T22:41:00.004+08:00

Met up with Zizi yesterday. Met up at Eunos and off to Henderson Wave. At first I thought we were lost as we went through a completely different location than I did when I went there the other time. Walked for practically 20 freaking minutes. We even took a half-time on our way there. Penat gile lahh siolzz!

Once we got there, we sat down, lied down, listened to music and talked a lot. We kept laughing as we kept giving each other matrep jokes. Lols sia. Bumped into a few others on the way there and when we were there as well.

Went off around close to 9, tried looking for the toilet. Or so they name it as 'jewel box'. We took 15 minutes looking for the toilet, went out instead and used the CC's toilet nearby. Took the bus to Eunos, which took some time to get there. Zizi dropped at Bedok Reservoir there while I drop off at Eunos MRT. Went to Simei, met Aini and the rest. Chit chatted for a while and off we all go.
Was quite an okay lepak/explore date after all.

issue made

2009-04-07T19:48:00.003+08:00

Met up with Zizi yesterday. She accompanied me to ITE simei to take some ez-link form. It only took a few seconds, but the journey to and fro took some time. Bla bla, yada yada, we hanged out near my place, was supposed to pass her my iPod, but due to some miscommunication, my brother took it out instead. Apologised to her 241 times afterwards for having her to come all the way to simei, we went off around 4.30, head home while she meet her friend. Was quite a gerek lepak date. Haha.

disturbance

2009-04-05T22:10:00.002+08:00

Last thursday, went to picnic with some of them at Macritchie Reservoir. Pictures are up on Facebook. Please grab it yourselves. I made it public so anyone could just take the pictures.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=103900&id=748429898&l=92a9bb4d09

Then last night, met up with Haikal and Farhim. Slacked at Aloha's poolside, stayed overnight. Almost went in red house when we got attacked, or rather, bitten by dozens of ants. Ran back to the pool, washed our legs thoroughly.

Why did you have to message me as such? Sigh.
I keep telling myself not to, ever again. I dont want to look pathetic.

happy birthday self

2009-03-31T00:22:00.007+08:00

Hello and Goodbye 30th March!
How I seriously hate today. I hate turning twenty. A big fat -ty at the back and no more -teen. Which means I should start thinking about my future, career, responisibilities and worse, MARRIAGE! Noooooo! Haha.

Thanks to all of you who wished me birthday.
Such as, Zizi, Asfa, Sarah, Kyn, Og, Ella, Ciya, Farhim, Izyan, Fea, Muhammad, Hasbi, Farid, Hajar, Sabrina, Nadia, Aini, family members and a few others.

Sarah Bogel almost forced me to write down here that she was the first to wish me. Though I did contradict her by saying that a few others have wished me before her. Sarah was the first to wish me birthday (not). At least she wished me by calling me. Haha. Zizi wished me twice, through message and while we were on the phone.

And my birthday wasnt so bad, got myself a perfume, new handphone, paid for my school fees alone and did some flyer job. Wasnt a bad day at all. Thanks again people! (:

PS: I dont celebrate my birthdays ever since. And Im used to not getting gifts on my birthday.

Coming Soon

2009-03-27T23:20:00.002+08:00

Had a movie date earlier on with Zizi. We watched Coming Soon. The movie was quite frustrating as it wasnt really scary and the ending was quite dumb. I would give it a 3.5/10 sia. Afterwards went to eat at LJS and off to chill near Raffles. Talked a lot till close to 10 and went off.
Got home earlier than usual, oh wells. I had a great time with her and we gotta know that we had a lot of mutual friends. Small world, small Singapore.

And Utt smiled at me at Live N Loaded. LOL sia, gay gay gay.

kahming suun

2009-03-24T00:58:00.006+08:00

Catching 'coming soon' soon with Zizi. Im not so sure when, but it would definitely be some time after she's a lot better. Hope you get better real soon Zizi. And really looking forward to it. (:

Zizi's been accompanying me through messages a lot. You are number 1! Go Zizi go!
Lols.

happy is it???

2009-03-22T21:23:00.001+08:00

I tdy very happy liao cos got someone there accompanying me throughout my day.

Reminiscing

2009-03-20T17:42:00.004+08:00

The very thought that someone composed and recorded a song for you is just so sweet isnt it? Especially when she post it somewhere where the whole world could see. Stating that she never did get over you and you only managed to realise what the song was about when she's no longer with you. I was a second too late.

"I regretted ever letting you go."
(Translated)

Or when someone wrote you a 4 page letter and post it to your house through the traiditional mailing style. Ranting out everything she feels and thinks about you. Telling you that you are the person that matters to her the most and your long absence affected her deeply. All that she wants is for you to stay with her as long as you could. I'm sorry for whatever that happened between us back then.

"Looking back, you've always been special to me."

Ohh well, Life goes on.

Free gifts

2009-03-19T00:44:00.001+08:00

Life is great. Me and Haikal found three boxes of cigarettes. One of them wasnt even opened yet.

Heck of a week.

2009-03-03T22:38:00.002+08:00

Lemme summarise whatever happened this past few days.

Last Thursday, stayed over farhim's place due to some reason which i cant really remember what.

Then on Friday, met up with Haikal and Arshanti to walk around town. We ended up at Newton somehow. Cos we went the overhead bridge at the expressway there. Took pictures using some guy's DSLR. We walked till Newton, we were surprised when we found out that that route would lead us to Newton. Haha. Went over to Haikal's as he seemed close to suicidal, lol. Stayed over his place, watched online movies halfway, fried some things which we only ate half of them. Slept around 5+ and I found out that Haikal snores. Which somehow made me hard to sleep. Went off from his place at around 7+, got home around 9+. And at around 12+ that night, Haikal called me telling me that he's stucked at Tampines and wanted to meet me to slack around at Simei. Met him up around 1+, afterwards met with his friend, Syazana. Hanged out till 6+ in the morning. Went home, got to know that my cat's missing. Looked for her and couldnt find ehr anywhere near my block area. Thought she was gone for good. I even looked for new cats online. A rebound cat lahh kan. Haha. When last night, at around 2+, I heard my cat's bell ringing near the staircase, found her at the 3rd floor prowling. Brought her home.

So, I guess that's basically what happened this past few days. Ohh wells, till then. (:

where you at?

2009-03-02T02:50:00.003+08:00

It's been at least 48 hours since comot went missing.
Where are you at?
Please come home, we're worried for you.
It was raining heavily earlier today and I was very worried.
:(

zxzcx

2009-02-26T05:26:00.001+08:00

i just happen to think about and miss the person who keeps calling me ah pek.
miss the good old times lahh.
outt.

AAHHHHH!

2009-02-24T00:44:00.003+08:00

ccb! i got hacked!!!!!!!!! zah went into my facebook account using my password!!!!!!!!!

Around the City Hall in 3 hours.

2009-02-23T01:35:00.002+08:00

kay so on sat i met up with zah, ana and shanti. makan-ed at boat quay and jalan² to city hall. i was the rokok supplier till the end of the night. aku feeling kaye that time. lol.

sat at supreme for a while when a drunk mat came to us and his friend took him back and apologised.

went to padang afterwards to sit for a while till zah and the rest wanted to go to the loo. went to esplanade's toilet and talked abt 'the good old days' lol.

went to payong afterwards, camwhored a lot and zah had to go off.

was abt to head home when i saw some of my friends at simei. hanged out with them for a bit and i actually went home afterwards.

it was a short night. thus, this is a short post.

go green

2009-02-17T18:59:00.000+08:00

v.day

2009-02-16T20:16:00.006+08:00

pardon my late post. i've been sleeping a lot since valentine's. cos something's been draining my energy away slowly. i might be dying for all i know, lol. kayy so on valentine's, was supposed to go bowling. but since only me, asfa and haikal were still up for it, it seemed too ridiculous to proceed. 3 orang aje bowling? skeemaks, tak feeling. then me, haikal and asfa tagged along with zah and the others to scape. there was supposed to be a gig, since ezad was sadly misinformed, there wasnt any. and i wasnt really in the mood for a gig. i was quite happy that the gig wasnt on. we sat at scape, ate famous amos till around 10 and left scape. the others wanted to head home but me, asfa and haikal went to boat quay to eat at BK eating house. okayy, at least haikal and asfa ate. i ordered a drink aje. bitched abt guys and girls and headed off for home at around 11+.

ps: im still not used to asfa's hairstyle.

since forever lahh kan

2009-02-14T00:55:00.008+08:00

sooo, today met up with arshanti, batman, haikal, zah and ezad. haikal randomly called me right after batman arrived, saying that he was bored at home and he wanted to join us. so i was like, heyy join aje. the more the merrier sioloxzxzx.

the fucked thing was, i wanted to bring my hoodie, camera and zah's speakers. i got on the train when it occured to me and i got a bit stressed. cos i've been planning to bring all those hours before i left home. bAhHhHhH! im as angry as a beaver!

we went to BK eating house to eat and headed to boat quay while waiting for haikal, zah and ezad. haikal came and had to meet zah at the other end of boat quay. after everyone came, we all settled down at the place we went to countdown. talked, bitched about, joked, laughed our asses off. it felt so good after not meeting them for like a month. haikal got along with them quite easily. well, we are friendly ppl. that's whyy horr.

at around 10+, me and haikal stayed while the others left for home. we walked from boat quay to city hall. and sat at the memo which is between raffles city and suntec city. talked cock, dumb pretty girls and some problems of ours. at this one point, we thought we heard a cellphone ringing, we searched around for the phone but it turned out that the sound came from an advertistment which was playing at the suntec city's large lcd screen. we laughed at ourselves afterwards. i laughed to myself when i saw this mat freaked out as a rat ran across him.

ohh well, as for tomorrow, which so happens to be valentine's, i'll be gg to some gig at scape with them. but excluding batman. and asfa might be joining us. JOIN AHH ASFA! if you do come, i'll throw confettis at you like what you told me earlier on. (:

ps: im so loving myself cos i just did a long post. Hilmi, im proud of you. (zah is my no. 1 blog fan! long live zahira! lol)

i love Hilmi

2009-02-11T19:20:00.002+08:00

i got a job. yeay!

now i can start shopping and stuff.

kal, i was thinking. Overseas instead ke ape?

chalet kental, we go KL or what. a few of us then bitch around at KL while celebrating my birthday. Lol.

think it's quite a good idea.

my reply.

2009-02-07T06:09:00.009+08:00

" ok, i'll try to accept that. it's been a great pleasure having you as mine. although nt for long, i've learnt to love you as much as i could. i think i'll need ard a few weeks or months to get over you. i'll forgive you for the wrongdoings you have done to me. im gonna miss my **** who is very cute and sweet. thank you for everything. for loving me, for sparing your time for me, for being patient towards me, for spending time with me. you have been my everything since i got to know you. i have been looking forward to your msg, your call, your testi everyday since i get to know you. i think it was a mistake for me to not realise that you've liked me since last yr. we could have strtd our relationship way back. and im sry for losing cntct with you last yr. but we cn still be friends right? although its very hard for me to accept this, i just have to. you have made your decision, i have to respect it. and im gonna keep the necklace that you gave me. so i'll have something to hold on to. and i have just one last request for you, please do it. reply this msg. that's all my dear. i hope im able to smile when remembering the things that we've done together. and ****, you will be cute and sweet to me forever no matter what. goodbye, **** .
- 4th March 2007 2:27 pm"

found this while browsing through my friendster messages. thought of sharing it with everyone. im nt sure whyy im doing this.

heavy siol.

2009-02-07T01:30:00.002+08:00

last night went to catch underworld 3 at ehub around midnight with farhim. it was okayy lahh, the movie was only 92 minutes and i was slightly disappointed. but it was overall okayy. spent the night at his place.

went home at around 9am. slept at 10am and i was supposed to meet aini at 3+ but i overslept and didnt get to accompany her to rebond. lol, sorry aini.

woke up at 6, contacted asfa, kyn and haikal. met them around 8 at bugis and we went to suntec's coffee bean SINCE asfa really wanted to eat some of coffee bean's cake. hahaha, asfa jiwe ahh belanje coffee. (im still nt used to asfa's new hairstyle.) then sat at fountain of wealth, finished our coffees, took pictures and talked a lot of nonsense. went off at around 11.20, took the train home.

was abt to head home when i saw some of my my simei friends. slacked with them till 1+ and i actually went home in the end. im still waiting for the pictures from asfa 'apple'. hahaha.

contemplating.

2009-02-04T20:36:00.006+08:00

i've been doing some serious thinking lately. at times, i long for you. but most of the time, i long for other people. not denying that i still do think of you and im still worried for you. am i in denial or am i just trying to forget? err, even im not too sure myself. it's been a few months since i felt this way. i want to run away from all of this and not look back if possible. keep moving forward and move on to a new direction. where everything seems new and filled with mysteries.

i do wish that life is like the movies. where i can pick up a dual revolver and start shooting others' brains out whenever i snap and try to overthrow the government. and i would live happily ever after with my soulmate. oh well, this is reality. there's no dual revolver waiting for me. i just have to live on like any other day and try to live for the best. i have this feeling that someone very unexpected would come into my life. it's just a hunch though. it could be someone i know very well or someone i dont know at all. we'll see.

ohemgee

2009-02-03T02:26:00.003+08:00

my dad's getting me a laptop cos i got into a school. i wont ask for those expensive ones ahh. i've got my eye on this particular HP lappie. gonna bully him into getting that one. anyways, i've been working out these past few days. gotta keep fit yaww. been jogging, doing push-ups, sit-ups, crutches and hitting the fitness centres. hitting the gym tomorrow and pay my mum a visit there. bleahh. badan aku dahh macam triple H, besok teros badan hulk siol. hahahah, as if.

rokok is power!

2009-01-31T18:29:00.003+08:00

found this website. i never knew such website exists, it is cool yaww.

Cigarettes Pedia

check this out! lol.

lazy little fuck.

2009-01-30T02:12:00.002+08:00

these past few days have been quite boring. went to tamp with farhim on wednesday and went to town with haikal on thursday. rahman was supposed to join us but he got arrested at the last minute cos he littered. -_- ridiculously true. but it all went okay-ly cos we 'people-watched' hahah.

i want to work so i wont feel that bored lahh hey. applied home fix but i dont think they are gg to respond. thought of trying out some F&B job for the time being, but im nt sure lahh hey. arshanti! when are you coming back? miss you already liao. come back to singapore where your cat is. she misses you. ^-^

do i make the cut?

2009-01-24T02:48:00.002+08:00

as we all know, valentine's day is right around the corner. it was at my void deck the week before, now i can see it at the corner of my room. kayy lame. i dont think i would be celebrating valentine's with any 'special' someone. im nt quite hyped up over it this time cos i've been spending a lot of time with friends. so i dont think much about it as they've got me occupied enough. awwww, so sweet of me. hahaa. i think im taking a break from all this dating crap for the time being. as im nt able to balance myself well at the moment, i dont think i could do with another peron for the time being. hibernation time heyy. earlier on, anisah suggested that we all should spend valentine's day together. and we are all gg to bring cardboards written on them, 'we are not hot enough to get ourselves a valentine' hahahahaa, i made that up. i would never do that, that is a question of my dignity. hahah. kayy so, valentine's a day to meet up it is. yeay! happy CNY to all my chinese friends and Farid Yeo! HAHHAHAA.

saturday

2009-01-20T20:01:00.003+08:00

on saturday me, anisah, asfa and haikal went to anisah's friend's birthday chalet. went there, makan free, the girls perangai budak gemok. hahaha. and made friends. asfa had to go off early cos her train ends early. in the end, she didnt get to catch her train and had to take the bus to town and figure her way out from there onwards. anisa got home safely and soundly. me and haikal perangai shameless went to overnight there. cos we were lazy to go home. hahaha. it was a crazy night, we shot water gun at unsuspecting unconcsious people. buat chalet macam club, bla bla bla. at around 7am, me and haikal went off. talked cock, cursed girls who go for mats (anisah jangan terase) and i slept at around 9am. guess that's abt it. see y'all!

a night with strangers.

2009-01-19T02:13:00.001+08:00

okayy im gg to tell you all abt it tmr okayy? im lazy to update tonight, im having a sexual breakdown, okayy no. so tmr it is.

horseshoe

2009-01-17T01:33:00.003+08:00

the only decent group photo we took.

i guess you girls really look like tourists here.

met up with anisah, ella and kyn at town around 4+. we were out of ideas and we walked around cineleisure to window shop. afterwards, due to some circumstances, we sat behind cineleisure and decided to chill there for a while. went to somewhere near youth park to chill and take pictures. killed time cos we have to wait for asfa to knock off. at around 7.30, we went to orchard MRT to wait for asfa. asfa came, the four of us went to forum's coffee bean. we played happy family for just a game and ella had to go off. for some weird reason, the three of us decided to play spin the marker, lol. we asked each other personal questions. like i said, that's how we bond lahh kan. hahah. and "berbual sini, habis sini" hahaha, so mat-ish. went off at aroun 11+ took the train home. wooo!

The Ting Tings

2009-01-15T20:47:00.005+08:00

okayy on tuesday i went for the ting tings with my sister. since my mum got two free tickets, we decided to go for the heck of it. once we're there the opening band which was force vomit, began playing soon after. the turnout were quite bad, there were like only 300+ people only. dang sia. but the whole thing was okayy after all. after force vomit was whyleaf/whyleave im nt sure how to spell their name. 3 niggas playing some hiphop shit, but they entertained the audience better than force vomit somehow. we danced idiotically like nobody's business throughout the whole thing. hahahaa. the ting tings performed afterwards. hey, the girl is hot sia, i never realised that she is this hot. alright, till then. =)

gambar semalam lahh siol

2009-01-11T16:24:00.004+08:00

heck of a day

2009-01-11T02:29:00.006+08:00

i am going to rant a long post cos it's been a long time since i last did that. here goes.

was SUPPOSED to meet zah, batman and arshanti at bedok interchange at around 11+ in the morning. but since i slept at 7am, i woke up at around 2. hohoho, sorry again. woke up, ate nasi ayam before i left the house and went to bedok to sell my handphone. cb, in the end the best deal i could get was like $60 sia. was expecting 100+ but noooo, most of them are nt taking my phone model anymore. then went took 196 to ecp and i accidentally went to the other side of east coast. no one told me that they were holding arashanti's birthday picnic at the other side. i sadly had to walk alone all the way to the other side. *sob sob* they were like a bit pissed that i was fcuken late lahh, but they were okayy abt it afterwards. i was expecting a lot more to come but only 4 of them turned up. but heyy, we had a GREAT time didnt we? it was so happening lahh the picnic and very NOT boring. hahahahaha. only batman, arshanti, zah and anah were there. according to them, the others paitau-ed. batman took a powernap around ten minutes before we finished packing up. left ecp at around 6+ then me, zah and batman took 197 to bugis. we all ahd our own plans after the picnic. showed batman the way to odio crib as he wasnt sure the way there and i had to kill time as well cos anisah, asfa and kyn were late.

after the trio arrived, we went to sheesha with dino and his classmates at some restaurant. i swear i never knew the shop ever existed. sheesha was stupid lahh, around halfway through the sheesha session, one of dino's friends took back two of the three sheshas cos she was scared that HSA or police might turn up. most of them are underaged and the girl had a bad feeling about it, bla bla bla. dino was very pissed throughout the time there. all of us went gotham afterwards and took some stupid pictures and left for home at around 11+. and one of dino's friends tried to flirt with anisah everytime he get the chance to. muke psycopath sia he, ahahah. pictures are still with asfa, kau cepat sikit upload ehh makcik.

tomorrow go skate or johor? i have to make up my mind by tonight!
sayonara, sayonara!

i really wont, seriously

2009-01-09T01:18:00.005+08:00

"and Hilmi seemed to be changing into a SYAFIEE. first step is rebonded hair, second is to skate, third is to having similar skating pictures. damn you hilmi, damn you, please please promise me you turn into an M.SHADOW wannabe. I don't mind losing a love one, but I don't wanna lose my only subway eating friend."

arshanti, i promise you i wont turn into an M Shadow wannabe or some asshole who keeps hurting your feelings. i will be your loyal subway eating friend and adventure buddy as long as i can manage it. we might not be as close as we are now in time to come. but, as long as we are i will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. i wont overlook your messages and calls. okayy, at least maybe from time to time or once in a while. please stop comparing me and syafiee, im Hilmi and he is syafiee. i am me and he is himself. we can never be the same. i promise you, i wont turn into an M Shadow wannabe or an asshole. trust me on this. zah, batman and the rest, including me, will always be by your side whenever you need us. dont cry no more okayy, we just dont like it when you cry over him. it really is not worth it. forget him okayy, arshanti.

skate lessons

2009-01-06T01:24:00.003+08:00

haikal fell like nobody's business

synchronised skating part 1

synchronised skating part 2

asfa landed a kickflip right after this shot.

met anisah at simei platform on sunday at around 3+. then met asfa and kyn at commonwealth station. then melvin and dino came and guided us there and we started skating. haikal came there straight. it was funny and plain fun. halfway through, dino and haikal went off to buy us food. i couldnt really eat for some weird reason. then continued skating till around 8+. i picked up skating back after 7 years of not skating. lame sia. had to brush up on a lot of things. had loads of fun siol. and i fell a lot of times. once, i fell till i rolled. that was the worst fall i've had, yet. imma buy a deck sooon. really liao. and ohh, we all went off at around 9.47. hahah, dino kept track of the time.

joke of the day: "asfa! kau social skater ke ape?"
"what happened?!?"

LOL!

walk walk

2009-01-04T00:53:00.007+08:00

asfa macam nyonya gangsta

okayy yesterday went to anisah & ella's picnic at ECP. i went to my old workplace beforehand to take my $41.50 pay. pathetic sia, but still. then i took 197 straight to east coast and met them up. i made friends with asfa, shikin, melvin and dino. haikal came the last, expected. LOL. we ate, cycled and played dumb games. and ohh, i was one the one which said "the macroni is the sex" lahh asfa. hahaha. we talked a lot of nonsense throughout the whole time and we got held back on the way home by the police. kena screen cos melvin threw his cigarette when the police was driving by. ohh well, all was good in the end. we're gg to queenstown tomorrow to skate together. hahah, weirdly lahh.

today went out with haikal and his friend, rahman. we went to far east, cineleisure, esplanade and lastly, fullerton's starbucks. it was quite fun lorr. we saw some mats fighting at the underground. this one mat said something like, "kite main baju punye orang!" the three of us laughed like fuck afterwards. funnehhh lahh you mats. you made our day, really.

picnic

2009-01-02T00:37:00.002+08:00

damn, i should be asleep by nw. im gg picnic with haikal, anisah, ella and some of their friends later on. eff lahh, gotta go to bugis beforehand to take my pay and head off to ecp from there on. i even might have to go to sim lim to send my sis' lappie for repair. cb ahh, leceh ahh. that's it, im slitting my knees and hope to clinically die.

3-2-1!

2008-12-30T23:29:00.005+08:00

things to do for NYE.

1) to not celebrate new year or countdown.

2) to not have any new year's resolution. i just find it dumb and i have never had any new eyar's resolution.

3) go job-hunting.

well, i think that's about it. i have been very bored with life recently. no one new, im jobless and im broke. and ohh, i bought a new mp3 player a few days back. it's quite good horr. im quite satisfied with its quality.

bleahh, imma update soon. peace out y'all!

santa will be coming round the mountain

2008-12-25T00:15:00.002+08:00

she will be santa for this year's chrsitmas as santa himslef will not be around.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS FUCKTARDS!

my apologies

2008-12-23T22:55:00.008+08:00

our superhero is injured, awwwww.

kakashi was in a middle of a fight with pein when we took this. lols.

well, last saturday met up with zah, arshanti, fir, batman and ezad. we sat at clarke quay and ate pizzas. zah dapat bonus siol, girl kaya belanje ahh. the rider was fucking late as he thought we were at orchard instead of clarke quay. it arrived 45 minutes later. we didnt finish the pizzas and cokes though. bleahhhh! the mats beside us were irritatingly noisy. they kept disturbing arshanti. muke satu² matrepcore and very bad looking. we moved to somewhere near peninsula afterwards as we were thoroughly annoyed with the mats. so yeah.

it was great lahh, we laughed a lot and me and batman had a lot to catch up with. and plus, we got free pizzas. so, it was a great day after all. with the exception of the mats' disturbance, all was good. till here i guess, toodles!

legally legal

2008-12-22T00:19:00.005+08:00

Hilmeow!:
happy 18th birthday you can now watch M18 and buy everything legally. enjoy your 18th while you still can cos you'll turn 19 afterwards and you'll feel fucked as it's your last teenage year.

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY ANISAH! NOW I CAN KIRIM YOU CIGGIES!

fanatic siaow

2008-12-17T17:14:00.002+08:00

a few months back, i found this link in wiki. today i thought of posting it up. it is quite surprising to find a list of secret socities in singapore. like WIKI ADE LIST OF BAJU IN SINGAPORE???? i have never heard of at least half of them.

Secret societies in Singapore: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secret_societies_in_Singapore

Ang Meng 21 tiong (Peh)
Ang Meng Tong
Ang Yee Tong
Tiong Yee Tong
Pak Hai Tong
Ghee Meng Tong
Ghee Hin Kongsi
Ghee Hock (Part of Ghee Hin Kongsi)
Ang Guat Hwei
Ang Tian San
Feng Huang Shan
Guat San Sia
Deet San Sia
Leng Heng Sia
Yee Pak Hai
Yee Chuan San
Yee Chuan Hai
Yee Hup Ho
Tiong Meng Ko
Heng Kee
Gnoi Seek Kee
Hup Ho Tong
21 San
21 Hai
21 Re Yue Ban
21 Tiong
21 Ah Tiong
21 Ah Liang Tong
Ang Kau Kau Film
256
Ang Soon Tong
Ang Ku Kia
265 Li Nam Gor
Di Yap Ho
[[Gor San Sia (534)]
18 Sio Kuntong (chao)
Salakau (369/Sio Kuntong)
Kallang Airport(Airport Kia)
Tanglin Halt
Tanjong Rhu
Yew Tee
Peh Sa Bu
Sembawang Kia
Lak Ko- 6th Avenue
Chit Ko- 7th Avenue
Taman Jurong
Taman Selasih
Rochor Bay
Teck Whye Lane
Toa Payoh Cao
Teban
Bukit Batok
Marsiling
Geylang
Joo Chiat
Bukit Panjang
Jurong West
18 Siao (siao)
Sio Yi Ho
Hup Soon Heng
Siao Kim Tian
Ar Bak Kuay
Aljunied Cresent Siao
ToaPaYoh Siao
Bugis Siao
Kranji Siao
3 Beh Lor
4 Beh Lor
7 Beh Lor
Ah Ba kuey
Bedok Siao
Depot Siao
Purmei Siao
Hougang Siao
Geylang Siao
Liew Lian Ka
Telok Blangah Siao
The 04 Gang
Wah Kee
China Town 04
The 24 Gang ( )
Ghee Hai Kim
Ghee Lian Hor
Ghee Leng Kiat
Sio Lo Kuan
Patt Leong
Gi Ang Kun
Feng Hung Shan
The 108 Gang (kong)
Hai Lok San
Hai Lok You
Pek Kim Leng
Pek Ka Long
Kim Leng Hor
Sio Leng Hor
Di Chet (27)
Sakongsa (303)
Go Hock San
Go Kong Go (505)
Sio Ang Leng
Leng Hor Shan
Sio Oh Leng
Pui Kong Pui(808)
The Prison Gang
Omega (Malay Gang)
Sarajumbo (Indian Gang)
Angmoh Kau (Eurasian Gang)
See Tong
Han
Yong
Hung
Meng (Known as Green)
Xiong (Known as Blue)
Pui (Known as Pink)
Dirty Fellow (Known as Yellow)
Sehgor (Known as Mouldy Green)
Pak (New Sect)
Others
Sar Di(32)
Sar Luc(36)
Ang Hor Tiam (Girl gang)
868 Logo
13 Ang Kau
Ministry of Brotherhood
Orh Leng

upcoming

2008-12-16T23:00:00.007+08:00

i really am looking forward to the 3rd underworld installment. the first two were great. hope the third would nt disappoint underworld's fans.

taken from wikipedia.org:

The prequel will trace the origins of the centuries-old blood feud between the aristocratic vampires and their onetime slaves, the Lycans. In the Dark Ages, a young Lycan named Lucian (Sheen) emerges as a powerful leader who rallies the werewolves to rise up against Viktor (Nighy), the cruel vampire king who has enslaved them. Lucian is joined by his secret lover, Viktor's daughter Sonja (Mitra), in his battle against the Death Dealer army and his struggle for Lycan freedom.

racist jokes

2008-12-15T01:28:00.004+08:00

last sat met up with zah and arshanti at city hall ard 5+. me being the punctual boy arrived first. had to wait for them while smoking with imran after bumping into him. ims left to meet taufik and me, arshanti and zah went to milenia/millenia walk to meet fir as he's working at the starbucks there. waited for him while camwhoring, give racist jokes and drank free drinks. went to BK eating house afterwards to buy food and ate at clarke quay. imran and taufik joined us afterwards. it was fun lorr. cause we laughed a lot. we bitched about and joked about. though it was my bad day cos my egg and spoon fell to the floor. damnnn. the ridiculous thing was, the three of them stole towels from fullerton so that we could wipe our hands with it. it was like, ohmygod. and me being a good boy only stole four little pebbles. hahaha.

got a lot more to talk about but macam malas ahh. so yea. toodles!

interspecies love

2008-12-13T00:53:00.002+08:00

well, i watched twilight with half of my family. younger sis, bro and mum. some family outing huh? it was okayy lahh. not overly done, not too mushy and not boring. my sis has been bugging me the whole afternoon to watch with her and i kept refusing. till my mum came home and asked us along. and yes, it's out. sneak previews, that is. the vampire obsession is back. it's not been around since underworld 2. now i wish a vampire could bite me and turn me into one. lol.

im still trying to find "where's wally" on the internet. so now im playing the game where's "where's wally". hahaha, as ironic as it sounds i am doing it.

navigate

2008-12-08T23:47:00.002+08:00

why? this is very weird. it came without my consent and without me realising it. i dont quite like whatever im feeling now. nooooo! this can't be happening.

haw par villa is a forgotten place

2008-12-08T01:04:00.006+08:00

this seriously is out of place

we actually went to haw par villa okayy! met shanti on sat at around 3+ at harbourfront and we took bus 188 to haw par villa. the place was boring lahh as expected. but it looks very sad. the very thought that it was once an attraction is now forgotten. it's not well kept and had very little visitors. we took a lot of dumb pics sia. all in all there were 190 pictures. damn, that is a lot. there is too much of arshanti's pic cos i held the camera for almost the whole day. afterward we went to vivo to slack for a while and we went to boat quay to meet zah and one of their friend, fir. it's been a long time since i last lepak with zah and we bitched abt almost everyone. im too tired to blog abt whatever happened this past few days. let's leave it till the next time.

tarts

2008-12-04T21:35:00.007+08:00

it's going nowhere, really.

haw par villa

2008-12-03T21:58:00.008+08:00

this is only one of the few pictures i have yet to upload. it's 124MB for goodness' sake. so, sikit dulu ahh beb. the girl in the pictures is my work buddy and as well as my lunch and smoke buddy. im gg to haw par villa this sat with arshanti. (ehh, this sat kan? or is it the next?) i know it's dumb but sial lah, i have never been there. i think. will be having a nice break this coming weekend. 3 fucking days without work, it is gg to be a bleeding TGIF lahh in two days time.

i dont really have much to rant about. Tony took away my favourite work lappie, new dell lapppie. damnn, he replaced it with some old compaq lappie. im gg to miss you dell. *insert a sad smiley*

it's gotten more interesting. we'll see how even more interesting it could get.

confined

2008-12-01T20:17:00.003+08:00

i just dont get it. it got me thinking this whole time. sometimes i think i understand what's happening but most of the time, i act as if i know what's happening. i dont want a way out, i want a solution before getting myself out of this whole mess. i do not wish to repeat whatever i used to do a lot. though it's one of the best way out, it just seems too cruel. is this some kind of a curse? why do i always have to go through this kind of deep shit before i get to squeeze a part of myself out of this? im tied down, binded and stranded. i can just free myself by pretending it all never happened just that, i want to finish what i have started before i can even think of escaping. it's either i would gain something out of this or nothing at all.

i yearn for an ending, a conclusion or an answer. the chapter of this story isnt finished yet. the chapter itself is not complete, let alone the story itself. i feel like destroying my brain at times for working more than i want it to. till then.

Fred Perry

2008-11-29T13:03:00.007+08:00

went to chinatown with farhim two days back. right after our second NS medical check-up. now i got two injection marks on my right arm. it looks as if i got a love bite or rather, some vampire just bit me. omg, twilight siol! hahah. we were looking for fred perry's boutique as we wanted to check out the things there. but eff, it took us 2 hrs+ to just locate the shop dammit. the shop was small yet nice. they tried to make the shop look very classic-ish and i think it wasnt really bad. i've been busy lately with work. i went for two medical check-up this week for eff's sake. it was troublesome. i've been wanting to upload the pictures that suwandi took. but damn, the file was 124MB. ohh wells, that gotta wait. and ohh, im working as an admin near arab street there. it's not really tiring but it's just dry. it could get as boring as watching boy pelih play the guitar. the only good thing is that, the staffs there are very fun and energetic.

i dont like the distance between us. i hope i can do something about it.

Anthea

2008-11-26T00:59:00.004+08:00

i felt like posting something on my blog. was brainstorming when something occured to me, Anthea. sry if this isnt an interesting post. i just felt like ranting it out so that everyone could read. i read both of your post which you dedicated them to me. and something's been pestering me from the inside to rant these out, and here i am.

im sorry for whatever i've done to you few months back. i didnt mean to, i had to. it wasnt really selfish or such. a lot happened to me as well as others around me. it kinda bottled up and i got so clogged with my own problems that i just couldn't find the time for you back then. i am sincerely truly very sorry. but everything's good now and i like it this way. im not trying to bring it up again. just that, i just wanted to type it here that i really am sorry abt it. you have forgiven me and we are in good terms now. the thought of having you by my side and someone whom i could trust and confide in, just puts a smile on my face. i really like spending my time with you and i enjoy talking to you. and yes, you are the greatest girl among the greatest girls i have ever known. i've never regretted knowing you, not even for a millisecond. though something's changed, im still okayy with it. we dont argue as much as we used to and our messages are not as much as we used to as well. i think you do realise them as well.

ever since i received your letter, i've been re-reading them once every few days. it's very nice of you to write such sweet things. you really mean a lot to me. (what did i eat just now? i can still taste it in my mouth.) i really really love your company and i keep missing you kayy. your smile and your laughter are just enough to make my day. i always look forward to your messages and whatnots. you complete the missing piece that i've been having all this while. you are like something i have always been trying to find in order to complete a jigsaw puzzle of my own self.

ohh well, i gotta turn in now, tmr's a working day. night!

caffeine rush

2008-11-24T00:51:00.012+08:00

you are gg to like this Anthea, lols.

the ride home.

it was an interesting yet tiring day. met Anthea around 4.20 and we headed for the fountain of wealth. though that was our INITIAL plan. it was raining and we couldnt walk outdoors. so we walked indoors and we took one and a half fucking hour to get to marina square. it was tiring but healthy in a way. betul kan Anthea? hahah. we went to esplanade afterwards and sat at this sheltered outdoor staircase beside thai express. malek joined soon afterwards and we took random pictures together. Anthea had to go home afterwards for dinner, we sent her off and headed to citylink's starbucks. as irna and imran were working, we got free coffees, cakes, lollipops, waffles and a few more. you gave us too much coffee irna, i feel like throwing up now when i start to think of coffees. lols. waited for irna to knock off and we went home together like a happy family. toodles!

paint it black

2008-11-23T00:28:00.007+08:00

the rain made me all sleepy this afternoon. i slept for 11 hours goddammit. irna texted me right after i woke up and she asked us whether we wanted to lepak with her. so, met malek and went to katong mall. we wanted to go to parkway though. it's because irna and rasul were playing cs at some cybercafe there. korang perangai ah beng ahh, macam ho nam sia. hahahah. then we went to eat at some sucky mama restaurant. it sucked to the bleeding core. believe or not, the waiter was disappointed when we didnt finish our food. emo sia mama.

we went to some cheap outdoor market nearby and irna bought finger twister randomly. well it was just 3.90 aje, so it doesnt really matter ahh. we only played two games when we started using the spinny thingy to play truth & dare. it was funny and we all looked stupid. we attracted a lot of attention. we acted like a bunch of buffoons the whole time. i took a few pictures and videos. should i upload them? this is a threat rasul and irna! im blackmailing you both. buy me a carton of cigarettes and i shall not upload them. muahahhaa.

on a side note, i painted my left middle finger black! i did it for the heck of it. with irna's help and compliments to beauty perfect™ 's nail polish.

hey yeo, what's your race again?

2008-11-22T00:36:00.006+08:00

The office.
Pathway to the looShe's THE bitch.

It was the first day of the work. didnt sleep the whole night and went straight to work. waited for atikah at lavender mrt for like 20 mins. went to work together-together as i didnt know the way there. and i only worked for three hours beofre telling june that i couldnt work. was so damn penat lahh, i felt like a zombie on auto mode. went home staright and sleep. then i had to wake up at 6 cos i had to go to some gig. as i have promised halfling that i would come. took the bus there and met malek. we went to music garage and i watched knights from chaos perform. damn, the gig was boring. filled with nonsensical people. i really couldnt stand boy pelih. sumpah, all the way he acted as if he's the hotstuff celebrity old-timer scene kid there. he sang along to their songs and made some body movements. whyy cant the government allow us all to kill such assholes? i would have strangled him with some scene kid's guitar strap there and then. i stayed until the fourth song aje and went outside to lepak with malek. it was a such a surprise to see rogue there. the three of us bitched and laughed about like it was 2006. hahah, idk where that came from. okayy, i took that from the movie wrongfully accused. "let's party like it's 1995." cock sia line. then we went home afterwards.

idk whyy but i feel very very lethargic today. i really wanted to go home throughout the whole night but at the same time i didnt want to. fickle-minded and lethargic? restless maybe.

ps: missing one another is a healthy way of living, haha. i miss mongmong's owner. (:

suntec

2008-11-21T01:59:00.007+08:00

i woke up at 5+ and received two messages. they were from hairul and anthea. i only realised after like an hour later. replied anthea's message but i didnt reply to hairul's. alahh, he keeps asking us where we are and such, but he would not turun lahh. boy paitau.

afterwards went to suntec with farhim and malek because they wanted to check out the book fair there. that WAS their initial plan. we didnt get to cos we were too late, blah blah. we went to carrefour and bought sushis, pizzas and some buns. it was a nice lepak, though we were short of ciggies. blah blah blah, we all went home. the bus home was a nightmare. a group of typical young mats made a lot of noise inside the bus. i could even hear them laughing/talking although i was listening to my mp3. typical idiotic mats, noisy little fucks. ohh wells, that was what happened today. toodles.

ps: all's good now.